Marriage and Babies

Pedro and I were married three and a half years before Em came along.

Today makes four years.

I read a lot during pregnancy as I've mentioned before and kept coming across articles about how much the relationship with a spouse would change after the baby.

6 months into this and what have I discovered?

It only changes if you let it.  Well, for the most part.

Some things change in general like not being able to catch a movie or grab diner without significant planning in advance. Or staying up late for a movie marathon or staying in bed all morning just cuddling.

But everything else?

Pretty much the same.

We fight like we used to just have different topics now. We still talk about everything, not just the baby. We find time for the two of us.

I am very glad we had 3 years just us and I'm equally happy we have Em now. I truly love my family.

First Year Nutrition

The other day I was reading a forum and found a question I'd wondered myself even though I thought I knew the answer.

It was something like "Is 5 feedings a day enough for my 6 month old?"

How would I have answered?

Yes. Just keep an eye on diaper count and you should be fine. Also if she needs 6 feedings one day don't say no. Feed her when she's hungry if that's 10 feedings then feed her 10 but if its 5 feed her 5.

To me that sounds reasonable. But that is not the response this women got.

No. She got things like this...

"I feed my 3 year old 5 times a day! And my 8th month old still eats 8-10 times a day! That is not enough!"

There were maybe 4 responses almost exactly like that.

I have a few things to say about that.

1. Let's not forget all babies are different. Just because YOUR baby eats that many times doesn't mean HERS has to.

2. I may get alot of... what to call it? Slack? Sure. But I'm gonna say it anyway. Your 3 year old does not NEED to nurse 5 times a day. He/she WANTS to.

3. 8-10 feedings a day is probably fine fir her 8 month old but she probably doesn't get as much as this womans child in the same feeding.

4. Stop judging! I mean as long as the baby is gaining weight what does the number of feedings matter?

I wanted to make an account just so I could comment on the question so at least someone who say it was just fine.

But I knew I would have also said something directed at the other women and then wouldn't I be just like them?

Judging another mother because she does something differently. So I refrained. But it got me thinking...

Formula. Breastmilk. Stroller. Wrap. Crib. Co-sleeping.

Just stop.

If it was... Feed. Starve. Talk. Hit. Watch. Ignore. Love. Hate. Then yes! Get involved but let's stop all this nonsense. If the baby is loved fed sheltered and clothed. Well let the mom do it how she wants to.

Am I wrong here?

I was talking to someone on Monday and mentioned breastfeeding going ok but I was concerned about weight gain and instead of asking about the weight gain issue it was "oh my god. You're still breastfeeding? Don't be one if those mothers who breastfeed forever. "So and so" breasted "baby" until 18 months and it was so gross."

I don't know how long I'm going to breastfeed. I hope for the full year. But whatever I choose its my choice. No one else's.

And I could have spouted off all these facts about breastfeeding and how formula doesn't even come close and how on earth she could have formula fed her kids but I didn't.

Why?

Because her children are HERS not mine. And I have no say in how she fed them.

I only ask for the same thing in return.

Well, that's my rant for the day. Besides all that... hope everyone is having a good week!

25 Things To Do With A 5 Month Old

Everyday I get up with Em at about 6:50 am. She is probably awake around 6:30 but my legs won't budge until closer to 7 and she usually talks to herself for awhile so I take that time to get a few more minutes of rest.

As I shuffle across the hall I think about the day ahead of me wondering what we'll do.

Its not always the easiest thing to figure out because the little ones get bored so easily but here are a few things we usually do during the day...

1. Tummy time: Em loves being on her tummy now. She rolls over almost instantly when I put her down.

2. Talking: This is usually something we do when I'm busy doing something else. I sit her somewhere and we jabber back and forth. But we do this almost always, whether one on one or from a far.

3. Play in the Grass: Em loves feeling it ob her toes and in her hands and sometimes in her mouth!

4. Walk Outside: She loves being outside in general. I'll take her for a quick walk in neither the strolled or wrap but holding her and point out things like trees and the sky. If we walk in the sun I'll tell her that's why its warm, if the wind blows I let her know. She's very alert outside like she's soaking in everything.

5. Dancing in the Kitchen: When she's in a bad mood this usually cheers her up. I pick her up and we twirl around the room for awhile listening to (moms) favorite songs.

6. Singing: I have a terrible voice but she doesn't seem to mind much. I sing everything. What's on the radio. Children songs like the itsy bitsy spider or wheels on the bus. Or something I've made up.

7. Airplane: we do takeoff and landing. Sometimes even crash landing!

8. Peek-a-boo: She just started to really enjoy this.

9. Piggies: You know "this little piggy went to market..."

10. Mirror Talk: She adores the baby in the mirror. She tries to grab her and hug her but always ends up bumping her head. Go figure!

11. I got you!: I usually do this after I clean a dirty diaper before I button her onesie and before/after a bath. I say i got you and blow raspberries on her tummy. She cracks up every time.

12. Play the Guitar: I try to show her some of the cords for fun but most of the time we end up just fooling around and beating on it like a drum.

13. Yarn: I give her yarn to run through her hands. Don't ask why but she gets so excited about it.

14. Reading: This we do before bedtime and naps! She has one book she adores called shoe-la-la

15. Face/hand exploration: I get really close to her and let her play with my ears nose cheeks etc. Or I give her my hand and she checks it out and stuffs it in her mouth.

16. Kitty: She loves penny our cat. She gets so excited with her just walking past her. If penny agrees I let Em pet her making sure she doesn't grab and pull.

17. Chores: This activity usually depends on the chore. When I make my bed I cover her up in blankets. While I'm doing laundry I pass her some clothes and tell her to fold them. She usually ends up sticking them in her mouth instead. When doing dishes I name off the items I'm washing while she sits in her swing. It usually takes longer than it would without her but that way during naps I get to write instead of clean. Plus she enjoys it!

18. Snuggle time: This only happens after she eats. She's already in my lap and in a good mood so we cuddle for a few minutes (sometimes only seconds, others as much as 10 min) until she's done and wants to play.

19. Sink time: I turn on the faucet and hold her as she plays in the water.

20. Making a racket: I give her toys (or plastic kitchenware) and let her bang them together. To be honest I'm usually the one who bangs them. She mostly mouths them.

21. Picture Time: I live about 3000 miles away from my family so I show her pictures of her aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins so she know who they are.

22. Mimics: I try to mimic her sounds and facial expressions.

23. Cook Together: When she's in the mood I'll set her up in her swing or car seat and we chatter while I cook. I let her see what ingredients im using. I let her feel the fruit or the veggies. I show her the meats and the utensils I'm using. If however she's in a bad mood I'll put her in the carrier except for when I need to be by the stove.

24. Bouncing/walking: She pulls up to a standing and tries to walk around my lap or bounces up and down. She loves to be in motion!

25. Alone time (supervised): Some time playing by herself is also needed. I get a few things done I can't do with her and she rolls around on the floor talking to her stuffed animals or bitting on her toys or playing with her toes.

What do you and your LOs do??

Wanting To Start Solids...

Before I start I want to stress that this is MY opinion. I'm not trying to convince anyone of what to do with their own child. I'm not a doctor. I have no medical experience. I only know what I think is right for MY daughter. Every child is different.

That being said... I think starting foods at 6 months is WAY too late. And I'm irritated that my husband thinks everything a pediatrician says is the right thing to do.

I know my daughter. She is ready to eat something more than breast milk and I'm mad that I can't start her on it because Pedro thinks it will cause allergies because that's what the doctor said. Ha. Like the doctor knows everything.

I think starting between 4-6 months is right. And I don't think Em was ready at 4 months but she's been ready now for about a week and a half. And I feel bad for her because I know she wants something more. And I think I know her much better than the pediatrician that sees her once a month and is just citing the guidelines.

Yes it probably is better to start closer to 6 months but honestly 6 months is just an age. The 23rd of June is not going to be any different than the 22nd except for the fact that she will be 6 months old not 5 months and 4 weeks.

I get the rule for the most part. The doctor didn't want us starting her on solids too young. If she had said you can introduce solids at 4 months I probably would have at 4 months and not waited until she was actually ready so she said 6 months. So instead I'm delaying the introduction even though I'm positive she is ready because my husband says no. Seriously 5 months is fine.

I just wish I could convince him that.

Any ideas on how I can do that?

It doesn't matter much. I'm starting the 9th of June regardless. She'll be 24 weeks. In weeks that's 6 months. He can get over it.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Okay, here is another conspiracy theory of mine.

I bet you can all guess what it is... Austism spectrum disorders and... what? Vaccines.

Yes I know Wakefield study was debunked. Sure. But if they never complete another study then how can they know for sure that he wasn't onto something?

And like I've said before they will never do a study on it because they don't want to know.

I don't believe it causes all asd but I think it has a huge impact on regressive autism.

Once again they say the vaccine (specifically the mmr [measles mumps and rubella]) just coincides with the time regression normally happens.

Well shit isn't that a coincidence once again.

My nieces pediatrician once told us she felt compelled to tell us she didn't give her own children the mmr.

That's what really convinced me something was very wrong with that particular vaccine.

So even though I vaccinate I will not have that one done until at least 3. Possibly 5.

Because none of those diseases are likely especially not when she isn't in daycare or preschool. So that particular vaccine will wait.

I mean 68 vaccines in 12 years. Let's not be ridiculous. Its way too much.

So maybe it doesn't cause autism but it has an effect on kids. That's obvious. And until they do a study on nonvaccinated children I'm going to think it has played a part.

Boys and Girls and How They're Different

Pink.

That is the thing that comes to mind when I think about having a little girl. That and princesses and fairy tales and Barbie dolls and playing house.

As for boys. Blue. And monster trucks and cowboys and ninja turtles and playing video games.

Very different images.

Ive read articles that talk about the idea of boys and girls being different only because of how they are raised. I do think some things about boys are like that but then we her into a chicken and egg sort of thing.

Because if only nurture caused that then how did it get started in the first place.

Read about the boy who had a botched circumcision and his parents pretended he was a girl after a scientist told them gender was learned. Not only did it not work, the boy ended up killing himself later in life. Here is the link if you like to know more about it.

Gender is not learned, it is inborn. That is why boys have XY chromosomes and girls XX. We are different no matter what anyone says. Some traits are learned of course but alot of them are natural to the gender.

So no, I do not believe we should raise boys and girls the same.

I do, however, think that it is important to work on different traits with each gender. Try and get girls to go out get dirty play in the mud and defend themselves and boys to talk about their feelings how to solve problems in other ways but their fists and that its ok to be gentle.

No not every boy is rambunctious and aggressive just like not every girl is quiet and nurturing but I do think most are. Watch boys play outside and then girls. There is quite a bit of difference I'd say.

Neither is better. Just different. And I hope one day I will be able to teach Em that.

There are things that men can usually do with greater ease than women but the reverse is also true. And most importantly just because it comes easier to someone else doesn't mean it isn't worth trying.

Because talent only goes so far. What really gets you to the finish line is practice and dedication.

Another thing I hope to teach my little girl.

Advice From Others

Being a parent you can't escape it. Advice is coming at you ALL the time from EVERYONE.

Your mom, dad, sister, brother, in laws, people at the grocery store, people who have kids, people who don't. Everyone else knows better than you.

Puh-lease.

I know best.

That sounds ridiculous for a first time mom to say but I honestly believe it. I don't know best for my nieces or nephews but I do know best for my daughter.

I spend 24/7 with her. I see her all day long and when she complains at night I'm the one to go make it better.

I hate when someone touches her hands and practically screams at me she's freezing.

1. A lot of times her hands are cold but she's bundled up and practically sweating. 2. What do they expect me to do? She eats her fingers 99% of the time so gloves are out. My holding onto her hands works all of 10 seconds. I know this because I know her.

I hate when I take her outside and am yelled at when I bring her in to wash her hands! Seriously?

Even worse is when I am away from her for all of 2 minutes and I take her then... "shouldn't you wash your hands?

Toy on the floor. WASH IT!

No wonder we have these superbugs.

Or things like shave her head so her hair is better. Or give her formula she'll sleep better. Or keep her awake until later she'll sleep through the night.

I used to be phased by things like that now I just smile politely and ignore them.

When the advice is good. I listen. When I know its wrong I ignore it. When its bad I say something.

And now the whirlwind of advice I get isn't quite as hard to handle.

What I Want For My little Girl

I want her to play with cars and legos and action figures right along with her baby dolls and barbies. I want to play cowboys and indians with her just as I'll play house.

I don't want her growing up thinking she has to wear dresses or always do her hair. I want to show her sometimes its okay to get dirty and look like a mess because those who love you shouldn't expect you to be perfect all the time.

I want her to know that she deserves a guy who will treat her right. One that doesn't abuse her in anyway whether it be physically emotionally or sexually. I want her to know that her body is hers and she is the only one who has the right to decide what happens to it.

I want her to find someone who will do things for her but I want her to be able to do them for herself as well. I don't want her to except someone else (whether it be her husband, father, brother or even me) to do it for her.

I want her to have people to count on but not abuse that right. I want her to know girls can change tires and fix sinks and hammer nails.

I want her to know that there will be some things that come easy for her and some things that are hard but not to quit or give up.

I want her to realize that everyone has a voice and an opinion and that's ok even if it's different from hers but its still ok to fight for what she believes.

I want her to look at people for who they are and not their color or sex or religion.

I want her to grow up with set values and beliefs. I want her to be confident in who she is and what she wants.

I want her to know I will love her always. No matter what.

Food Allergies, What Causes Them?

I refuse to believe starting solids early causes food allergies.

It is a lie.

Kids who are started on solids early (before 6 months) may develop food allergies. BUT so may those who started on time.  My mom started all four of her kids and two grandchildren who she is now raising before 4 months of age. We were all formula feed after 3 months.

So formula, no. Early solids, no.

The truth is no one has any idea what causes food allergies... or allergies in general really.

Except I think they do.

Today, out of no where really, I was hoping/praying Em didn't ever develop food allergies. I have a small allergy to some sort of pollen that blooms in the states during the autumn months but I've never really figured out what it was. My husband has an allergy to dust, still a little one. Nothing major. Neither one of us have food allergies. Thank GOD.

I actually don't know anyone who has a food allergy. Or at least not one that is fatal.

But my nephews are no longer allowed to take peanut butter sandwiches, cookies, etc. to school. WHY?

Peanut allergies are not only common but are the food allergy most often fatal. What the hell happened? I never knew anyone with a peanut allergy. Actually I still don't but I don't hang around with a lot of kids from this generation, who apparently have so many allergies. Like 1 in 17 I read.. What is going on with kids these days?

I'm not going to pretend I know more than the medical community... however I don't have any stocks/interest in it either so here's my two cents...

I think vaccines contribute to allergies.

I will not say cause because I was vaccinated, as were my brothers and sister, and we don't have allergies. None of us.

But I think it has something to do with it and I can't be convinced otherwise.

Because I have internet on my phone (bad idea for a new mom!) I decided I would look up to see if anyone else saw this connection. And I found way too many articles with the same idea. I found out information like...

In 1980 there were 20 vaccines before the age of 12. In 1990 there was 40. Now? 68. Peanut allergies doubled between the 80s and the 90s and now? They are out of control.

Why?

Apparently peanut oil, protein, or something is used in vaccines to help them create better immunity. And this is causing a backlash that most people who study the subject think is not only awful but that the medical community knew was going to happen.

Look up Tim O'shea. Look up Serum Sickness. Look up the words Vaccines and Allergies in google. Read the articles. They are ridiculous. And not to mention scary.

I'm noone. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a nurse. I'm not a pharmacist. I've never even seen a life threatening case of food allergies.

I'm someone who can ask questions and put two and two together to get four. Not ten. Not one hundred and seven. But four.

And I came up with vaccines.

They may not be the sole cause but I think, like I think about SIDS, there must be some factor, something in the child's genes that makes them susceptible and then putting all those chemicals in them before their body has even adjusted to the world, causes a reaction.

But, call me a crazy new mom. My husband usually does : ) But I worry.

It honestly could be a million things. Our crazy society that doesn't let kids play outside because of germs, where doctors tell us that we shouldn't have pets because they are dirty, where shoes must be removed before going inside.

And that's probably a factor too.

But vaccines are still worth investigating, I'd say...

Breastfeeding VS. Formula Part IV: Your Choices Are YOUR Choices

I read an article once about this woman whose child wasn't gaining weight and even after 3 months with no weight gain on breastmilk alone the women felt awful about giving her daughter formula.

She tried and it didn't work. She gave it her all and it didn't work.

So why would she feel awful about that? Because 1. She wanted to breastfeed and it was awful to her that she couldn't. 2. Other people made her feel like less of a mom

I want to stress I am 100% for breastfeeding. I think breast really is best but if my daughter wasn't doing well on it then I would give her formula. And if someone didn't want to breastfeed or couldn't I wouldn't make them feel bad about it or say they didn't try hard enough.

My sister didn't even try breastfeeding. She had no intention of it and feed both her boys formula right from the start. Both boys are very healthy.

So even though I think breastfeeding is wonderful that is MY opinion based on my own experience. Just like I don't force my religion or political views on anyone else I will not force how I feed my child on a new mom.

So remember that it is your choice. You are the one who will have to live with it no one else so don't let anyone else convince you their way is better than yours.

Because it isn't. It's just different.

Return to Part III of this Series

Breastfeeding VS. Formula Part III: What to do?

For me it was easy to decide for a lot reasons the main ones being its better and costs less money. But I don't think the decision is quite so easy for some people.

So here's how I think everyone should look at it.

1. What's better for the baby?

This is the most important because your baby doesn't have an option. You're deciding. They have no say.

And I think this is always breastmilk

2. What's better for mom?

Because your advocating for your baby its hard to look at this alone but its important too.

Happy mom = happy baby

I would take a look at each and see what would fit my lifestyle better. Although pumping is an option for working mom it may not be better for mom. Try and look at every aspect. Time constraints, money, how you feel etc.

3. When one and two are different

What happens when what's best for baby isn't best for mom? Well I think you have to look at it together. Is mom going to be that unhappy? Is it impossible for mom to pump or find a milk bank to buy from? (Being as best for baby is always breast milk) If answers are yes then try it. If it doesn't work out move on to formula. Because that is always an option... you can't really decide to breastfeed after weeks of formula.

I don't want to sound like I think formula is poison. It's not. Its an amazing invention that allows people to feed their baby when they a. Don't have enough (or any) milk b. Have a baby who wont latch c. When breastfeeding is medically impossible.

BUT I do think formula should never be the first option. For all that can breastmilk should be the first choice. If it doesn't work, it just doesn't work. Move on. But how will you know if you don't try?

Of course many people out there just don't want to... to each their own. No judging here. I even might be singing a different tune had breastfeeding not be so ridiculously easy.

After all you're the mom and its your decision. Do what you believe is right. For me it was breastfeeding but for a lot if people its formula.

Go to Part IV of this series. Or return to Part II of this series

Breastfeeding VS. Formula Part II: Formula Benefits

Now I can't say I really thought there was more benefits while I was pregnant I did come to see them while breastfeeding.

1. A Break: Oh how I wanted someone else to feed her just once! I wanted more than 3-4 hours of sleep. I could have managed it with pumping and giving a bottle but I didn't want nipple confusion.

2. A Different Kind Of Convenience: I was always worried about supply and being with my baby all the time. Formula can be given by anyone. No worrying about supply and demand either.

3. Public Displays: Im shy. I can't help it so breastfeeding in public is very off putting for me. (Don't mind seeing it but I hate having to do it!) With a bottle there is no pulling up your shirt in a public place

4. Opinions on Weaning: God everyone has a idea about when you have to stop. Some say when baby has teeth. Others age one. And some who say until baby wants to. Let people make their own decisions! Formula you stop at one year. (People do, however, have opinions on when to stop giving a bottle)

5.Eating/Drinking whatever whenever: alcohol for one and all the foods doctors say you shouldn't eat. Broccoli beans dairy eggs etc.

These are the reasons I thought about using formula but I never did. But as much as people talk about the benefits of breastfeeding I thought these should be said as well.

See Part III of this series. Or return to Part I of this series.

Breastfeeding VS. Formula Part I: Breastmilk Benefits

Formula is so common now that it seems like sometimes there is no reason to breastfeed. Worrying about supply and being away from your baby do add to fact many people don't bother to breastfeed. But we, I think, are forgetting about the benefits.

Im going to list a few here that made me decide breastfeeding was best.

1. It's natural. We may not know everything that goes into it but we do know there isn't anything artificial

2. Antibodies: More antibodies = better chance of not getting sick. And I didn't ever want to see my baby sick. Especially not after those first few days. (Read here, here, here, and here)

3. Bonding I do not think this is just limited to breastfeeding but I think its easier to do. With formula (bottles) its a lot easier to delegate it off(this is not so bad) to someone else and when old enough to prob the bottle or just give it to the child.

4. Cheaper (money wise): Realistically formula was just not an option we could afford

5. Convenience: No bottles or water or formula to remember just a lift of the shirt!

Those are the five reasons I choose to breastfeed before I even had a baby but there are so many more benefits. Here are a couple of links...

1. Benefits of Breastfeeding

2. How Breastfeeding benefits You and Your Baby

3. Why Breastfeeding Is Important

4. Why Breast Is Best

Number 4 is a link to MANY pages that state different benefits.

But like I stated before breastfeeding isn't all roses and sometimes the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.. especially when formula feeding has its own benefits.

Check out Part II Formula benefits

Why I Breastfeed..

When I was little it was never a question I'd thought about. My dolls were given bottles of pretend formula. And I always imagined myself doing the same for my real babies.

Formula is EVERYWHERE. In my entire life I've seen someone breastfeeding all of 3 times. 2 were not even in the U.S.

I'm not sure why I even decided I would breastfeed. No one in my family did (except my own mom for all of 3 months) so it wasn't normal to me.

But when I got pregnant I researched everything. (Really--Everything) And I read What to Expect In The First Year which had quite a bit of information on breastfeeding alone. I read articles about the benefits. I read articles about the benefits being way overestimated. I read about the bonding and articles about how time consuming it was. I read about doctors who pushed formula and women getting in traps by schedules and supplements.

By the time I was 25 weeks pregnant I swore I was an expert. And I decided a few things.

1. I was going to breastfeed.
2. I would breastfeed for 1 year
3. I would not supplement

All three of these things I decided I would do for my baby. Not me. If it was up to me. Formula. But this was my baby and no one can convince me formula is just as good for babies.

It's not.

Science is a wonderful amazing thing but nature is better.

Now I don't want to sound judgmental because if breastfeeding hadn't been an option I wouldn't have thought twice about using formula but because it was an option I didn't think twice about not.

So back to the real question. Why do I breastfeed?

1. For my daughter: It's natural. There is nothing artificial about it. It's giving her the best start possible.

2. For me: I didn't realize it at first but now I do. I also breastfeed for me. It's relaxing and easy and I feel better about myself as a mom by doing so.

3. For my family: Breastfeeding is so much cheaper! And it saves my husband and I lots of money every month.

4. For everyone: I honestly believe the more normal breastfeeding becomes, the more women will start doing it (much to the dismay of formula companies) and I think I contribute to making it more normal so one day another women will see it's the best way to go

Why do you breastfeed? Or why don't you?

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)

Fear. That's what I call it. Because the thought keeps me up at night. It keeps me from sleeping. It drives me into my little girls room at 4am to make sure I can either hear her breathing or feel her chest moving up and down.

I'm terrified of it.

I can't even imagine how people live through it.

But it can happen to anyone they say but for some reason it usually happens more in families who've already had it happen before.

It occurs most often between 2 and 4 months. 2 and 4 months. Huh. That sounds so familiar.

Oh. Right. Vaccines.

Isn't that weird?

I'm probably a nut, I'll be the first to admit that but to me it seems suspicious.

They say there is no correlation between the two. And maybe there isn't but it worries parents. So why not move the vaccination ages to 6 months when most of the danger if SIDS has passed? And when children are still young and the diseases they are vaccinated against will probably not affect them especially if they stay at home and don't attend daycare.

I can't be the only one to have thought of this. So why won't they do it?

If SIDS rates stay them same in that age group it wasn't the vaccine but what if they drop? It wouldn't be a coincidence and they couldn't pretend there wasn't a correlation. They'd have to admit it was a factor and those companies who make billions of dollars on vaccines would be in trouble. Parents who haven't already would lose faith in the whole system. And to them that's lots of money.

They won't risk that.

And so they won't change the regulations.

I'm not saying they are knowingly hurting children. No I'm saying that they wont risk finding out that they are. So no studies. No changes.

Obviously I can't say vaccines cause all SIDS. They don't. But I think we often forget SIDS is not a diagnosis. Its when a seemingly healthy infant dies. No warning whatsoever.

I've read horror stories of SIDS. Some right after vaccines some in unvaccinated children so obviously it isn't always vaccines but it could contribute. Everything has a price. Everything.

Vaccines are a necessary evil.

I'm not anti-vac. Honestly. But I do think the companies are not giving parents the whole truth. And that, to me, is wrong. Its a parents choice to vaccinate and there are risks and we should be informed of ALL of them. Then decide.

Do I want polio or the measles or whooping cough to become prevalent once again? No. I don't.

But sometimes I think it might be a risk I'd rather take.

Because as long as they keep lying to us about the real risks of vaccines then most parents will vaccinate and there is no reason for them or anyone for that matter to come up with a safer method.

And we need something safer because sids isn't the only thing I believe vaccines contribute to..

Happy Parent(s), Happy Baby

You'll often here the phrase happy mom means happy baby. I even use this from time to time. Because, well, it's mostly true. Or maybe it's only true because the opposite is most definitely true. Unhappy mom means unhappy baby.

But through all of this aren't we are forgetting about one really important person in the baby's life?

The father.

What about him? If he's unhappy in the situation does it not matter? Moms happy. Baby's happy. And dad... well apparently no one cares about him.

I know the saying can't be happy couple happy baby because it does leave out the single parents out there. Maybe something like happy parent(s) happy baby.

Because it takes 2 to make a baby and all should have a say with what goes on in the babies life.

Two parents living together or apart, whether husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend or just friends, should have some say with what goes on in the baby's life and both should come to agree on what this is. And even if the two aren't together and especially if they are they should treat each other with respect. No child should have to listen to their parents scream at each other. That doesn't make a happy baby. It makes an insecure baby.

I won't say I don't fight with my husband in front of Em, I do. But our fights never even feel real. In the middle of yelling at him for not picking up his socks he makes me laugh and we kiss and I thrust the socks at his chest and he puts them in the laundry basket.

If that isn't exactly how it goes it is something very similar.

And I really like this. We fight in front of Em, yes. I didn't want to, at first, but now I think it's a good idea if it isn't too big. She will learn that just because you fight doesn't mean you hate each other. And I think that's a great lesson to learn.

Valentine's Day

The thing I think about the most on Valentines Day is from a movie… which I can’t seem to recall the name of… but it doesn’t matter. It isn’t hearts or Love or spending time with my husband (am I awful or what?) but the line “Valentines Day is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap”.

Now while I have a husband and we’ve been together for the past 6 Valentine’s days I do remember those years I didn’t have someone. Well, I was in high school but still I think it does make people feel like crap. Especially if all your friends/siblings/parents have someone to spend it with and you don’t. You can stay home every night of the week and be completely fine with it but then it’s Valentines and you feel pretty lonely.

What does this have to do with Em?

Nothing really except I hope she doesn’t have to feel like that.

There is something about being a mom, or parent really, that makes you want to prevent your child from feeling any pain whatsoever. But you can’t and even if you could, should you?

Pain is important. It stops us from burning off our hand when we pull something out of the stove. It stops us from trying to walk on a broken leg. It keeps us from returning to the guy who made us feel worthless.

Without pain the world would be a disaster.

So a little pain for our children is good. It teaches them (and us) about what to do. And plus if you never have bad Valentines days, you’ll never appreciate the really good ones.

 

Outtings With A Baby

I thought I was an awful packer and then I met my little girl. And things got so much worse..

WOW. Who would have thought a day trip would require so many things! This weekend we are going to Calacali because a cousin of Pedro’s is going to be here from China and the whole family is getting together so we are going to take Em who will be just about 7 weeks old.

And I’ve already started planning and packing. Good thing she doesn’t need formula because that would be overkill.

Diapers and wipes and clothes and blankets and burp rags.

I don’t even want to think about when we are going to stay the night somewhere. She’ll need a place to sleep, stroller and baby carrier, toys etc

Before I returned to Ecuador after visiting my parents I remember my sister telling me “Gone are the days you can just leave the house”. While that is not entirely true because when we decide we want to go to the store we just go. No extra clothes or diapers and she sits comfortably in her wrap,  but there is A LOT of truth to it as well.

And I do miss just telling Pedro, let’s go do this and going. No extra planning of how Em will handle it or if Em can handle it at all. We just went without thinking.

And it sucks and honestly I think it is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better.

Babies and Pets

When I was born my mom had two cats, a dog, and a bird all in the house. Our cats came and went and so did our dog. Later on I let the bird go myself. I wanted to see it fly and I was certain it would come back. But it didn’t.

I’m sure I was sick a few times as a baby and child but nothing major. Nothing that killed me (obviously) and nothing that I had to be hospitalized for. Truth be told I’ve only been in the hospital once besides my pregnancy. When I was 6 months old I swallowed a penny and they had to take it out. Pretty simple. No cutting. They reached down my throat and pulled it out.

And this is the same for my brothers and sister. We were extremely healthy children. And we had animals. We played in the dirt with them, we ate their food with them. And guess what? We lived.

Em’s pediatrician freaked my husband out saying the cat was going to give Em a disease or something. He had no idea what to do. If it wasn’t for my background with animals I probably would have been just as afraid but as it were I had animals and I wasn’t getting rid of penny because we had Em. Penny is mine too.

Right now things may be a little complicated. We shut Ems room while she naps in there. We make sure we don’t lay her down on the carpet without a blanket because of how much hair penny throws. But later on Penny and Em will be friends, I think. Or at least I hope they will. Penny is kind of anti-social. But oh well…

And plus her pediatrician is an idiot.

A doctor, sure. But an idiot. Hasn’t he read any studies? Animals in the house are SO much better!

Here are a couple of links… here and here.

Anyway it looks to me they are getting along already..